Love Guru!
by Gridey
Summary: When Namimori's most Dame is pining for Namimori's most popular, Tsuna can only thank the heavens for making Dino, resident Love Guru, willing to share all the tricks of the trade that will ensure a happy romance between Tsuna and Kyoko. But our most beloved Tsuna-fish has yet to realise Dino's second agenda... D27, minor 27K
1. The Contenders!

A/N: Hullooo! Gridey here, with my first story - and it's a D27! Yikes. Wish me luck :/

Before we get started, some quick housekeeping: This is a D27. For sure. I'm not budging on that. There will, however, be some entirely necessary 27Kyoko. It won't be the main or final pairing, but it will be around. So any hard-core hetero/Kyoko haters... That's a thing. You've been warned.

This thing is going to be about 10 chapters long, I think, and I already have half of that written up, but I've been agonising over characterisation and plot-moving-too-fast-ness and uuurgh, these later chapters just aren't working for me... If you would like to read those chapters as a kind of beta-reader before I post them to this site I'd be much obliged, I could really use some feedback T_T So drop me a review/PM/what have you if you're interested!

That out of the way, enjoy chapter 1 of Love Guru!

* * *

Tsuna groaned, threading his fingers through his spiky brown hair and mussing it in frustration. Why, why did he have to be so... _entirely useless_? "Another failed attempt at impressing Kyoko-chan," the boy sighed to himself, and slumped against his closed bedroom door dejectedly. Really, he should be used to constant failure by now; but today had been particularly excrutiating, even by Tsuna's liberal standards. It had, as awful days sometimes do, started marvelously. By some miracle of God Tsuna had been paired with Kyoko in science class, something that had elicited a chorus of groans from the class when the assigned pairs were read out. Kyoko, though, hadn't seemed to mind, and Tsuna was too elated at being given the opportunity to bask in the presence of the Namimori idol to care about the mutterings of his class mates. He hadn't even particularly minded when Gokudera had winked across the room at him, obviously and enthusiastically, thankfully while Kyoko was busy setting up the bunsen burner at their work station.

"Tsu-kun," she'd said sweetly, and Tsuna had felt the corners of his mouth turn irrisistably up in a goofy smile. "Would you get some beakers from sensei's desk? I'll finish preparing the chemicals."

Yes, Tsuna had decided, walking in a daze, life was _good_.

But all good things must come to an end, what with dame-dame-dame-Tsuna being long overdue for his appearance. The teacher had obviously thought that little could go wrong when the worst student had one of the best at his side, but intrinsic idiotness prevailed when Tsuna tripped on air walking to the front of the classroom and smashed his arm into the teacher's desk, sending all of teacher's expensive beakers to the floor (via his scalp) in a rain of glass. Dazed, head throbbing, he'd made to get to his feet, only to realise that something was amiss when Kyoko gasped and hurried to his side.

"Tsuna! Are you all right?"

Tsuna had looked down at his hand where Kyoko was fussing, seen a bloodied shard of glass in the skin of his palm, and, horror of horrors, had burst into tears.

And that hadn't even been the worst of it. What with running around in his underwear, getting chased down the street by chihuahuas, and getting mistaken for a young girl by random strangers, Tsuna was used to suffering crippling blows to his masculinity. The incident had even given him the opportunity to be excused from class and have Kyoko accompany him to the nurse's office, so the injury alone wasn't an entirely negative thing. It was later, sitting on starched sheets with his hand wrapped in linen, that Tsuna had felt the full weight of his dame-ness. Because, Tsuna and Kyoko had been sitting in absolute silence. Kyoko hadn't seemed bothered in the least, had just gotten out a text book and started reviewing the lesson, nibbling on her lip when she didn't quite understand a passage and had to read it over. Her and him, alone in a room; it was perfect. But all he had been able to do was to sit there, frozen, staring at his hands as they twisted in the comforter until the bell was ringing for next class and Kyoko was leaving with an apologetic smile, saying that she hoped he felt better soon and not to worry, the cut wasn't deep and shouldn't scar...

Tsuna hadn't even been able to summon the nerve to say goodbye. He had just watched with an agonised smile as the sliding door rattled closed and her light footsteps disappeared down the corridor. Then slowly, deliberately, still with that wobbly smile plastered to his face, he had wriggled down to lie on his back, had fished the pillow out from beneath him, pressed it to his face, and screamed.

It was official. Dame-Tsuna had reached a new level of dame-ness.

It wasn't his fault though! At least, not entirely. As Shamal had, very embarrassingly, forced him to reveal when he infected the brunette with that stupid, _stupid_ disease, Kyoko was the first girl he had ever really talked to. Tsuna could barely talk to _boys_, so what made anyone think that he could possibly communicate with _girls_, the mysterious 'other', the 'here be dragons' on the map of his life, the beings with the other 'bits' that he only half remembered from health class (with the other, forgotten half having been erased from his memory from the sheer trauma of it all). It must be nice, Tsuna thought dazedly, to talk as naturally as others seemed to manage to; effortless, engaging and witty. Talking to girls.

But it seemed that was just another check in the 'not gonna happen' column of his life's ambitions.

No use crying over it though, Tsuna decided, yanking off his school shirt and fishing around in his bed covers for his pajama top, despite the fact that it was still only three in the afternoon. It wasn't like he'd had a chance with her in the first place, the school idol.

But he and Kyoko had become closer, a tiny, treacherous voice wheedled in the back of his head. Kyoko had even been over to his house, had met his mother, had helped his mother cook dinner, even, on one occasion... He and Kyoko actually had a pretty good relationship, Tsuna dared think as he popped the button of his trousers, in spite of the whole lack of communication on Tsuna's part thing.

If only he could _talk_ to her...

"Hey, little bro!"

"_Hiiieeeee_!"

Tsuna jumped, and his fingers, curled around the belt loops of his trousers, yanked upward so that the brunette yowled in pain and somehow contortioned his subsequent fall so as to land and sprawl in the most horribly awkward way possible. Beneath the flushing, shirtless boy, Dino smiled.

"Hey!" he greeted again, seemingly completely unperturbed by the fact that a shirtless underage male with his trousers undone was perched precariously over his groin, hands braced on either side of the older man's unruly blonde locks. "My plane from Italy just landed, so I thought I'd come see Reborn and say hello to my cute little brother while I'm at it. How ya been, Tsuna?"

Tsuna closed his gaping mouth with a snap and flung himself off of the older man to scramble into a corner. "D-Dino-nii!" He crossed his hands over his chest, mortified and not quite knowing why (it was _Dino_, a male, his brother figure) but absolutely unable to quash his raging blush. "Y-You should knock! I'm changing!"

"Nothing I haven't seen before, Tsuna," the older man teased and made himself comfortable on the bed. He leant back against the headboard and shot a smirk that sent Tsuna's blush racing down his chest.

But Dino (a _male, _his _brother_,) was right (damn Reborn and those bullets), so Tsuna forced himself to lower his hands and to stand, no longer quite so self-conscious now that the shock had worn off, in front of the older man. "You scared me..."

"Sorry." Dino patted the bed covers next to him so Tsuna perched there, looking up at the reclining male through strands of caramel fringe. "I actually planned to wait for you up here till you came back from school, I hadn't thought that you'd be home yet. Sorry, I should have knocked anyway..."

"N-No, it's fine." Tsuna smiled then, earnestly. "I'm really glad to see you again! How was Italy? You were gone ages!"

Dino smiled himself at the return of his cheerful younger brother. "Italy was great, but it was all business. Not much time for sight-seeing. Bleh, oh well. I'll just have my fun here!" He yanked the protesting Tsuna into a crushing hug, ruffling his hair and cooing in play affection.

"D-DINO-NII!" Tsuna yelped, or at least that's what Dino thought he said; Tsuna was so tightly smooshed against the older man's shirt that the words were indistiguishable. After a moment's struggle the brunette flung himself free with a gasp, blushing and breathless with giggling, his hair even messier than usual. "M-My hair..."

Dino just laughed. "There you go. I was worried when I came in and saw you looking all sad. My little brother's just not cute if he isn't smiling."

"Oh," said Tsuna, surprised. He had been entirely distracted from his melancholy with Dino's antics, but with the reminder Tsuna was struck by a sudden realisation: that this was _Dino_, the handsome, devastatingly charming Dino, who was foreign, suave, probably had to beat girls away with a _stick_ – "That's it!" He pushed himself from Dino's chest and held the older man at arm's length by the shoulders, wide-eyed. "Dino, you've had a lot of girlfriends, haven't you?"

Awkward questions were awkward, but Tsuna didn't give the spluttering Dino time to compose a reply.

"I need help, Dino! T-There's a girl, and... um... I-I..."

Dino's embarrassment about-faced into a cheesy grin, and he cut off Tsuna's painfully awkward ramblings by pulling him into another smothering hug. "Aw, how cute! My little brother's growing up... You wanna know how to woo your lady?"

"Pretty much," Tsuna mumbled into Dino's shirt, his embarrassment at the whole situation catching up with him. That didn't stop him from awkwardly leaning into the embrace though. Though he would never admit it (contrary to popular belief he did put some cursory effort into avoiding blows to his masculine pride) he actually liked it when his more exuberant guardians pulled him into hugs. He was an affectionate person by nature, but it was an aspect of himself that he rarely showed for the simple reason that, before, he'd had no one to show it to. He was slowly getting used to the idea that there were now people who wanted to touch and hold him, and he liked it, he did. It was just embarrassing!

And Dino smelled so nice too... A manly concoction of clean sweat, worn leather, and something vaguely spicy... Tsuna felt his blush darken as he pressed closer to Dino's chest and shyly let his hands rest on the older man's hips in a small hug. Dino blinked at this, but returned the gesture whole-heartedly.

"You should talk to her," Dino said quietly into Tsuna's hair. He had relaxed into the hug, and began now to idly finger the brunette strands tickling his chin as he spoke. "It took me a while to figure out how, but when I did it was really obvious and easy, and I was amazed that I couldn't figure it out before. Just remember that girls are people too, who go through similar things to boys, for the most part. She goes to school, she has trouble with homework sometimes, she has friends and family, maybe a pet... Talk to her about herself, find out what her interests are, what you have in common. If you can take that first step, the rest comes pretty easily."

Tsuna blinked. So he'd just have to talk to her like he talked to Gokudera and Yamamoto? It was that easy? "Really?"

Dino laughed. "Yep! Call me later and tell me how you do, okay? I'll be your relationship guru! Aah, this'll be fun!" Dino nuzzled his chin into Tsuna's hair, making the boy giggle.

"Okay! I want to spend more time with Dino-nii anyway, so this is a good chance!"

Dino melted into a puddle of brotherly goo. "Aw, I love you too, little bro!"

"_Ahem_."

Both boys turned as one to the door at the interruption, pupils shrinking and muscles seizing at the sight of Reborn standing in the doorway with the transformed Leon held lazily in his tiny baby hands, an eyebrow raised and a dark smirk turning his lips. "If you both have time to be _canoodling_," he said smoothly, "I'll assume that dame-Tsuna has already finished all his study and won't mind a pop quiz, and that dame-Dino has nothing better to do and will finally start filling out all that neglected paperwork."

Though both boys blanched at their respective threats, it was the word _canoodling_ that made them realise what the situation must look like to an outsider. Tsuna was still half-naked, and the tussle from before had resulted in his trousers slipping down his narrow hips to show a generous orange band of patterned boxers. He was braced over the older man, hands resting on Dino's hips, while Dino himself had his hands pressed against the smooth expanse of Tsuna's back. Both of them were still pink and panting slightly from their previous exertions.

Their faces exploded into blushes.

"_It isn't what you think_!" Tsuna yelped and threw himself off the older man. But Dino's men weren't here and Tsuna was klutzy on his own, so they both somehow got tangled in the sheets, and then Tsuna had Dino's knee pressing into his crotch and was lying dangerously close, his lips ghosting over Dino's collar...

The force of his horror somehow enabled him to extricate himself from the sheets and to tumble face-first to the floor, in front of the much entertained Reborn. "Ack!"

"Ah... Tsuna..." Dino looked unbelievably flustered, more so even than Tsuna, though he was more composed about showing it. He raised a hand to cover his mouth and his eyes crinkled to show that he was smiling behind it. "I guess I'd better go then, I'm distracting you from your homework... Call... Call me later, and tell me how everything goes with... yeah... See you!"

Dino hurried from the room, leaving Tsuna to watch, open-mouthed, flush still riding high on his cheekbones, as the older man left him alone to deal with the smirking Reborn.

"God," the brunette teen groaned, threading his fingers through the hair at his temples and yanking. "What a day..."

* * *

The next day saw Tsuna fidgeting at his desk, eyes darting from his bento box, to Kyoko, back to his lunch. _Just ask her if she wants to eat on the roof with us_, he directed himself firmly._ Gokudera and Yamamoto will be there as well, it won't be a date, it won't be weird, we'll just be two friends eating lunch together... _

But it was so embarrassing!

Inhaling deeply, Tsuna summoned his resolve, clenched his fists, puffed out his chest, and marched over to Kyoko's desk, where she was chatting with Hana. "K-Kyoko-chan! W-Would you like to eat lunch on the roof with me and my friends today?" He felt ridiculous. He was suddenly made aware of his puffed-out chest by Hana's quirked eyebow, and wilted. He _looked_ ridicuous.

Then Kyoko smiled, and Tsuna remembered why the embarrasment was worth it. "That sounds nice, Tsu-kun. Did you want to come too, Hana?"

Said girl snorted and eyed the grinning brunette blearily. "No, thanks. I'll stay _away_ from all the teenage boys and their hormones."

"Eh?" Kyoko tilted her head to the side while Tsuna's face exploded in red. Thankfully, Hana didn't elaborate, and only waved the pair away with an irritated flick of her wrist.

Kyoko smiled. "Let's go, Tsu-kun. Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto-kun are already there?"

"A-Aah. They are."

He didn't mention that he'd had to fight, tooth nail and puppy dog eyes, to convince Gokudera to wait on the roof so that he could ask Kyoko _without_ the threat of a stick of dynamite making its way into her uniform should she 'dishonour the Tenth' by refusing the invitation. Which she hadn't. There was a distinct skip to his step as he led the way to the roof, until his skipping led to him face-planting in the corridor. Then he walked normally.

Lunch was turning out to be just as painfully awkward as Tsuna had feared, but just as before he seemed to be the only one feeling it. Yamamoto was winking over the grinning Gokudera's head (God, what was it with his friends and their lack of _subtlety_?), and as Tsuna watched he made a slight gesture indicating that Tsuna should _talk to her already_.

Talk to her like he would talk to Yamamoto and Gokudera.

A bead of sweat made its way down his forehead.

How did he talk to Yamamoto and Gokudera again?

"T-The, THE TENTH SURE IS LOOKING MANLY TODAY, ISN'T HE, BASEBALL-IDIOT? BUT THEN, HE ALWAYS LOOKS MANLY BECAUSE HE IS GREAT."

Oh God.

They _weren't_...

Gokudera somehow interpreted Tsuna's look of soundless horror as one of gratitude, and gave a reassuring smile and thumbs up.

Yamamoto cocked his head and regarded Tsuna, before giving his trademark laugh. "Haha, no, he's still looking a little scuffed from his meeting with that chihuahua this morning, isn't he?"

Tsuna went red (how many times can someone blush in so many days? he thought miserably) and Gokudera began spluttering, his own face reddening in apopoleptic rage. "_No you idiot_," he hissed, and pulled Yamamoto close to whisper something in his ear. Tsuna caught the words "the plan", "help the Tenth", "fucking _big_ chihuahua, don't talk like you know anything about it".

"Tsu-kun, you were hurt by a dog?"

Tsuna looked over, and to his surprise Kyoko was looking somewhat ashen. "K-Kyoko-chan, are you all right? And I-... I'm fine! It wasn't even loose,_ but it barked and it scared me and made me trip and fall down a small hill, and I still haven't gotten out all the thistle_... But I'm not hurt!"

Kyoko breathed a sigh of relief, placing a hand over her chest. "That's good to hear. I'm sorry Tsuna, I didn't mean to fuss; it's just that I don't really like dogs either. I was bitten by one when I was small..." She pulled back the collar of her uniform to show a small, white scar on her shoulder. Tsuna gasped, horrified.

"Kyoko! I- I had no idea..."

Kyoko smiled at the genuine concern in his voice, and some colour returned to her cheeks. "Not many people do, it's not something I really like to talk about," she admitted with a small blush. "But there's something about you Tsuna, you're so easy to talk to. Maybe it's because you're scared of dogs too, it makes me feel better about it... Tsuna?"

Tsuna checked his goofy smile. "Oh, sorry Kyoko-chan, I wasn't laughing at you. I'm just thinking, I'm really happy you told me that. I'm glad that we have things in common after all..."

Kyoko looked a little startled, but then her face split into a smile so blinding and sincere that Tsuna could swear that the surroundings had gone all pink and bubbly. "Tsu-kun..."

Yamamoto grinned cheesily, clamping a hand over Gokudera's mouth and pulling the thrashing silverette away as he gave some excuse about going to the store for more lunch, and needing Gokudera to tell him what kind of onigiri he should get ("Choose your own freakin' lunch!" Gokudera screeched around Yamamoto's hand. "Fish! Christ, just get fish!"). But Tsuna didn't even notice.

Dogs... Kyoko doesn't like dogs either... I did what Dino-nii said, I found something we have in common! Is it weird to be bonding over our fears? Who cares! We have something in common!

"Ah, there's the bell. We'd better get to our next class before we get scolded by Hibari-sempai."

_I think he'd do a little more than scold us, or at least me_, Tsuna thought, but without much bitterness. After all, phase one of Getting Up The Nerve To Ask Kyoko On A Date, was a resounding success.

* * *

OMAKE

After visiting Tsuna, Dino had sat uncharacteristically quiet in the back seat of a black jeep, driven by Romario. This worried the Chevallone right hand man slightly, since usually Dino would exit the Sawada residence positively beaming, and chatting non-stop about the adventures that he and his 'lil bro' (and occassionally Reborn, the more-often-than-not orchestrator of said adventures) had shared that day. It was only the ridiculous grin that Dino was sporting that reassured the older man that whatever was bothering his boss, it wasn't too serious.

"Somehow, Tsuna was extra cute today," said Dino happily, and Romario gave a silent, relieved sigh. _There_ was the Chevallone boss they all knew and loved. "Falling all over himself like that... Falling onto... me... like that..."

"What was that, boss?" Romario had been proccupied negotiating a difficult overtaking of a caravan while avoiding a speeding convertible. Honestly, even though traffic laws didn't really apply to a mafia boss, weaving through traffic so he could get Dino home on time, it often felt like he was playing a particularly difficult game of three-dimensional tetris.

Dino grinned, looking ridiculously self-satisfied. "Nothing!"

* * *

A/N: Aaaand there's chapter 1! Remember to let me know in a review/PM/whatever if you want to beta-read this story's chapters for me! Ciao!


	2. The First Date!

A.N. Hello again, my pretties! Just because I love you guys to itty-bitty pieces, next chapter is GOING TO BE M-RATED. Nothing _too_ bad, and the boys won't be jumping into bed together _quite _yet (I write so that my plots progress quite fast, but not _that_ fast...), but it will be enough to warrant a bump up in the rating. So if you search by ratings filter, or if you're absolutely against explicit smexy times between boys... You have now been warned :P

I try to make a habit of replying to any reviews I receive, though I obviously can't do that with anonymous reviews. So I'll give a big shout out here to the anonymous reviewers of last chapter, and tell you all now that even though I can't reply I definitely read and appreciated your words :D

That out of the way, enjoy chapter 2 of Love Guru! - The First Date!

* * *

Dino had somehow managed to wrangle his way into vising Tsuna again the next day, despite the ominous glint in Reborn's eye when he reminded Dino of the fact that Tsuna had a test in four days that he needed to study for, and despite Romario's pointed reminders of the paperwork that needed to be sorted, filed and/or mailed by _yesterday_.

Bah, what was paperwork when he could be visiting his adorable little brother, and seeing how he was going with his new girl! It had only been a day, and Dino knew that Tsuna was given to procrastination when he didn't really want to do something, but a visit was a visit was a visit, and he wanted to see Tsuna again, dammit!

So Dino was very pleasantly surprised when he was greeted at the door with a tackle-hug (that resulted in both of them falling down and getting their limbs so hopelessly tangled that it would be fifteen minutes before they were both safely on their feet again) and dragged upstairs by the flushed, incessantly chatting Tsuna, who had a happy gleam to his hazel eyes and couldn't seem to keep still. Dino laughed, delighted that Tsuna was so happy, and was promptly regaled with the mighty tale of how Tsuna invited Kyoko-chan to lunch, actually managed to talk to her, and actually, _actually_ managed to find something substantial in common with her. "Something that hardly anyone else knows!" Tsuna gushed. "Dino-nii, you're the best _ever_!"

"Glad to help little bro," Dino smiled, and gave Tsuna's hair an affectionate ruffle. That didn't feel like enough, so he pulled the boy into a hug and smiled when he felt Tsuna's slim arms readily circle his ribs and grip the fabric of his tshirt.

"So, what's the next step?" Tsuna looked up at Dino, adoration and absolute trust shining in his hazel eyes like a particularlarly cute beacon.

Dino blushed and coughed into his hand.

"W-Well, you've established a friendship there, that's good, that's a start. Really, all that's left now is to pop the question..."

Tsuna promptly began choking on air. "I d-don't want to m-m-_marry_ her," he wheezed, "W-Well, not yet, not f-for a few years _at least_, and - why are you laughing?"

"Whether she'd like to _date_ you, Tsuna. You're a little young for marriage, I think!"

Tsuna hid his blush in Dino's shirt. "Mou!"

Dino patted the brunette's head fondly. "Really though, if you think that she's seen the best you have to offer, and if you think that you have enough to go on to make a fun date, then that's the last step. Where do you think you'll take her, anyway?"

Tsuna pouted a little, and pressed his index finger to his puckered lips in thought. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead," Tsuna mumbled around the digit, before curling his finger and slipping it between his lips so he could nibble on the fingernail as he pondered. "Wait..." Tsuna's hazel eyes widened in realisation, and his hands moved to clutch the hair at his temples as he let loose a prolonged '_Hiiieeee_' of despair. "Dino-nii! I just realised - I have no idea what to do on a date!"

Dino started and raised his eyes from Tsuna's mouth. "What... _No_ idea?"

Tsuna looked positively miserable now. "Please, Dino-nii, you have to help me! What will I do?!"

"Go out with me."

"...Eh?"

Dino looked surprised at his own words; he hadn't meant them _that way_, but saying them had felt unexpectedly good. His gaze was a little distracted as he hurried to clarify with the brunette what he meant. "Go out with me. Treat me like you would your girlfriend and take me out to dinner, or to the movies, or some place you think you'd take your girl. Practise your lines, and get a feel for what you have to do. I don't think I can really explain what to do on a date here, but it'd be different if I could help you out as you go and fix your mistakes as I see them... So, whaddya say, Tsuna? Be my boyfriend for a week?"

"Okay." Tsuna didn't even have to think about it. "If you think it will help."

Dino tried _very, very _hard not to look as happy as he felt right at that moment, but he suspected it might have shown in the way he landed a sudden, smacking kiss to the crown of Tsuna's head. "Tip number one," he said, winking at the gaping, pink-faced brunette. "Girls like it if you show them some innocent affection on the first few dates, like hugs and hand-holding..." He slipped his hand into Tsuna's to make his point, an innocent touch, but it made Tsuna jump and squeak. A very cute sound, Dino decided. He let his thumb stroke the back of Tsuna's hand. "Linked arms, pressed sides... And, sometimes, depending on the girl... Kissing."

Dino let his eyes drift to half mast when he spoke the last word. Tsuna couldn't keep his breath from turning ragged as, somehow, the mood _changed_. He raised his free hand to Dino's chest, as if to push him away, but it just rested there against the warm cloth. The two looked at each other, breathing each other's air, Dino's eyes all lazy and molten in the yellow afternoon light, Tsuna's expressive eyes that Reborn always bullied him for showing nothing but confusion. Dino's eyes were serious when he leaned in, slowly, deliberately, never breaking eye contact, and planted a final, lingering kiss on the corner of Tsuna's mouth. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at six, okay?" he said gently. His lips brushed against Tsuna's skin as he spoke, and the younger boy trembed lightly. "Be ready. We'll go to a restaurant for our first date, so dress nice. Semi-formal. And it'd be nice if you bought a corsage, of, say, mini carnations. Maybe not for me, not for this date, but it's a nice idea for your girl."

With his free hand Dino gingerly uncurled Tsuna's fingers from where they gripped the fabric of his shirt, until both of Tsuna's hands were held in his. He entwined their digits briefly before he slipped off the bed, leaving Tsuna sitting alone on the covers, looking very small.

"I'll see you at six then, Tsuna."

And then he was gone.

* * *

The next day, school passed quickly in a haze of very-deliberately-not-thinking-about-anything. Tsuna wasn't quite up to coherent thought even when he found himself walking home, letting Gokudera's yells and Yamamoto's steady _hahaha_s wash over him like a zen mantra, soothing for its mindless repitition. He waved goodbye to his friends without seeing them leave, then was at his front door, walking up the stairs, closing the door to his room, looking at his bed, and feeling the ghosts of fingers slide between his own.

He sat on his bed with a sigh, and tried to think logically.

He wanted to think that what had happened with Dino had been a figment of his imagination. He was so starved for love and tenderness he was reading _things_ into brotherly affection. He had been too long without a shirt and yesterday's events had all been a fever-induced hallucination. All that talk about Kyoko had made him so anxious for the girl that he had super-imposed her face onto Dino's, and when the other man had acted his usual cuddly, boisterous self Tsuna had fallen prey to his teenage-boy imagination…

_Except that he hadn't._

It had been _Dino's_ dark eyes that had bored into him, staring unblinking until Tsuna's vision had grown blurry at the edges except for the amber flecks in Dino's irises, which had remained in sharp focus as the blonde leaned in...

Tsuna firmly told his hyper intuition to _Shut. Up._

He wouldn't know what to do if Dino actually did... you know. Just the suggestion of the word sent a bolt of panic to curdle in his stomach, a desperate, hopeless, nauseating fear so potent that it left him weak, sitting there on his bed and being madly grateful that Dino _didn't_. Because Tsuna was seeing things that weren't there. He was dame-Tsuna after all, and this was just another extension of his inherent dame-ness. That was all.

And that was that.

So while he was still a little nervous about the date tonight, it was because it was to be an indicator of how ready he was to try his hand at romancing Kyoko. His stomach clenched again, but this time in anticipation. This was what he had been waiting for since forever, and even though it was only Dino he couldn't help but think that he was that much closer to the real thing now. He could see it now – he and Kyoko holding hands as they walked through the park together, she pointing out the flowers that dotted the grass, he gathering a posy and presenting it to her, she smiling beatifically and accepting the bunch, closing her eyes and bringing to blossoms to her face to smell them...

Dino, Tsuna thought to himself with a smile of his own, really was an amazing brother for helping him out like this.

* * *

Dino arrived exactly ten minutes late.

Punctuality was important, he explained, patting the leather upholstery of the big black jeep he was driving and helping Tsuna slide the seatbelt across his chest, but date punctuality was different to real-time punctuality.

"Give her those few extra minutes to get ready. It's just awkward if you arrive too early and she's still doing her hair, or something. It's called fashionably late for a reason. By the same token, don't leave her waiting half an hour for you... Tsuna, are you taking _notes_?"

Tsuna looked up from where he was scrawling with a gnawed wooden pencil onto a thin ream of notepaper, blinking his big brown eyes at the question. "Yes?" Tsuna blanched and hurried to tuck the pad away. "Is that wrong? Have I messed up _already_-"

Dino hid his smile behind a small cough, turning the jeep into a reserved parking space out the front of an expensive looking restaurant. "No, no, it's fine. Not wrong as such, but... No, it's fine."

Tsuna breathed out in relief, then beamed an embarrassed smile at Dino. "Sorry, I just... really don't want to mess this up. This is my first date, after all!" he joked.

Well, if that didn't boost Dino's ego into the stratosphere... A small smile shining in his dark eyes Dino made his way around the car, opening the passenger door and offering the brunette assistance out of the high vehicle.

"Ano... Shouldn't I be doing this for you?" said Tsuna timidly, sliding his palm across Dino's and slipping out into the cool late afternoon air. "I thought the guy was meant to do all this opening doors stuff, wouldn't it be weird if the girl were to...?"

And there went his mood. _I can't believe I actually forgot this was a pretend date_... "Ah, sorry, I suppose I was just slipping into habit," he said instead, his smile tightening a little. Tsuna blinked at the display, but didn't know what it meant, so let it slide with a grin and blush of his own.

Dino broke the sudden awkward silence by clearing his thoat. "Well, let's get started then, shall we?" Dino offered Tsuna his arm, and the brunette slipped his small hand into the crook with an embarrassed grin. The two were getting some odd stares from other restaurant-goers, but the attention the pair were getting from grovelling waiters and a nervous looking manager as they were ushered past the line of people waiting to be seated to a discreet table with a marvelous view of the town, surrounded by tasteful decorative pots overflowing with natural plant life, checked any potential distasteful comments.

Tsuna just gaped at the wine-red colour of the wall panels. "I-Isn't this the best seat in the place? At the most expensive restaurant for miles?" he whispered incredulously. And he was no art critic, but he was pretty sure the painting hanging over there by the lush fern display was an original. Dino just grinned.

"Anything for you, Tsuna! I don't exercise my mafia power nearly often enough, so I've used all the influence I have in reserve tonight. Don't worry about the price, payment's been arranged already, so order whatever you like!"

"I would have been happy to eat at Subway," Tsuna muttered, and hunched down behind his menu, clearly feeling out of place amongst all the opulence. There was no reason he should, though: he'd taken Dino's advice and worn nice clothing - shiny black shoes and dress pants, and a tastefully ruffled white dress shirt that he'd bought last year to wear to a compulsory school dance, and which thankfully still fit. He'd attempted to brush his hair, so while it still puffed up in places the longer strands curled down to frame his boyish face. He even smelt nice, like apple blossom, and Dino almost choked on the realisation that Tsuna must have borrowed someone's scent, perhaps his mother's, or Bianchi's. Hiding a chuckle (because how cute was that!) behind his glass of water, Dino made a mental note to take the boy cologne shopping sometime soon.

Tsuna, meanwhile, oblivious to Dino's thoughts, was silently appraising the older male over the top of his menu. He'd never seen his older brother in formal wear, but had to admit that he could wear it as well as he could his usual cargo pants and fur-lined jacket. The older man was wearing a deep brown dress shirt that complemented his dark eyes, along with fitted beige pants that he'd spiced up a little by adding a white belt embossed with designs that resembled the tattooes he had hidden beneath his shirt sleeves. A matching beige jacket was draped across the back of his plush chair, which Dino was _lounging_ in, looking so completely at ease that Tsuna could hardly stand to look at him. Because, how could he be so relaxed when Tsuna was so _nervous_? The brunette had been preparing for hours, shining his shoes, practising his smile in the mirror, raiding his parents' bathroom cabinet for something nice-smelling to wear (he'd eventually picked a nice-smelling cologne of his father's, one in a pink bottle with a bulky, jewelled stopper. Well, his father _was_ a little strange...), and going over good conversation starters until he was sure he could hold a coherent conversation in his _sleep_.

And there Dino was, looking ridiculously cool, smiling to himself, tapping the rim of his glass of water idly against his lips as he perused the menu.

_Mou..._

"Good evening, gentlemen; my name is Samuel, and I will be your waiter this evening. Are the sirs ready to order?"

Tsuna was instantly intimidated. This guy pronounced his name _Sum-well_.

"Ah, yes." Dino smiled winningly at the waiter who had approached them – a tall, moustached man with an accent and a penguin suit. Tsuna panicked, cursing himself for getting so lost in thought that he hadn't even read over the menu. He hastily scanned the courses, feeling ready to cry when all the food names were long and foreign. "Tsuna, are you ready to order?"

"Y-Yes! U-Um..." He couldn't mess this up! "I-I'll have the... the, e-esca... escavee- escaveechee..."

_Sum-well_ paused with his pen over his writing pad. "I beg your pardon, sir?"

Now Tsuna really did feel ready to cry. "This one," he mumbled, pointing to his choice where it was written on the menu. He could feel his face burning with humiliation. Ten minutes into the first date, and he had already made a fool of himself. The waiter nodded and made a note of it. "_Escavêche_, a fine choice. And your companion?"

"Ah! My turn..." Dino seemed oblivious to Tsuna's faux pas. Or at least, so Tsuna thought, until the blonde smiled and pointed at his own choice on the menu. "I'll have the boo-uff boor-gooey-on."

...If he hadn't witnessed it himself, Tsuna would never have believed that that mangled French had come from the so-obviously-European Dino. The shock wore off in a couple of seconds though, only to be replaced by a crushing despair that had him digging his fingernails into his thigh until it began to hurt, so that he wouldn't start bawling. He didn't think Dino was mocking him with his mangled pronunciation, but all that left was the scenario where Dino was trying to save him from embarrassment, only a few minutes into the date.

"The _Boeuf Bourguignon_." The waiter wrote down the blonde's choice without blinking an eye. "Very good, sirs." He snapped his notepad closed and bowed at the waist. "Until your meal arrives, please enjoy these complimentary French bread sticks. If the gentlemen require anything, please do not hesitate to call..."

"You didn't have to do that," Tsuna whispered, ashamed to feel tears prickling his nose. He sniffed them back. "Saying the name all stupid to make me feel better... It's only ten minutes in, and you're already having to rescue me... In the end, I really am just dame-Tsuna..."

"Oi," said Dino, alarmed, "what are you talking about, Tsuna?"

"What am I –?" Tsuna's head shot up so that he could meet Dino's gaze, to find that the older man looked genuinely confused.

"I just ordered the meal," said the blonde cluelessly. "Was there something...?"

Tsuna stared at the blonde for a long moment, open-mouthed, before collapsing into a fit of uproarious laughter. He laughed until he cried, until he sounded hysterical; and when he finally contained himself it only took one glance at Dino for him to fall into another fit of convulsions. He laughed until his sides ached with it, and didn't even care that the tables around them were giving the pair wary sidelong glances, or that Samuel had arrived with the food and was standing patiently, waiting to be acknowledged.

Dino had been acting so cool recently that Tsuna had almost forgotten that this was _Dino_, the lovable, ditzy Dino who tripped on air and kept a ridiculous turtle as a pet. The pressure that came with this being a date meant that Tsuna had forgotten that they were supposed to be having _fun_.

"No, Dino-nii," Tsuna gasped, smiling brilliantly, tears of mirth making his eyes sparkle beneath the lights of the chandeliers. "Absolutely nothing's wrong."

The two laughed and joked through their meal, Dino predictably clumsy with his men not around, and constantly missing his mouth with his fork, or dropping food on the ground. He just smiled sheepishly when Tsuna laughed at his expense, though Dino did get in his own fair share of chuckles when the brunette leaned across the table to eat some food off of Dino's fork only to somehow slip and face-plant into the buttered breadsticks. Then nine o'clock rolled around and the two had been eating and chatting for three hours, so they tumbled back into the jeep and drove home, messy, exhausted, and the happiest they'd been in a long time.

"I had a really good time, Dino-nii," said Tsuna shyly as the car pulled up outside the Sawada residence. "And I learnt a lot, I think... You're a good teacher!"

"Aw, thanks little bro! I had a really good time too. That was the best date I've had in a long time, actually."

Tsuna blushed, embarrassed, but also secretly pleased. He ducked his head so that Dino wouldn't see the red and fiddled with his seatbelt until it clicked open. "I-I should get in, Dino-nii... Thanks for everything, again, and I'll see you for our next date-"

"The date's not finished yet," said Dino suddenly.

"Eh? Really?" Tsuna paused with his hand wrapped around the door handle, head tilted curiously. He glanced at the front door of his house. "But... What else could there be?"

Dino's eyes were gleaming again, in the glow of the streetlights. "Well... This is normally when the boy kisses the girl goodnight."

Tsuna's eyes widened drastically. "K-Kiss?!" he spluttered. "B-But, you said before t-that t-t-touches, they all depended on the girl..."

"You're acting the part of the man in these dates, aren't you? That means that I'm the girl, and I'm requesting the kiss," Dino interrupted calmly. He smiled then. "C'mon. It'll be good practice, won't it?"

Tsuna was suddenly reminded that these had been fake dates, practise for wooing Kyoko. His face exploded into a blush at the thought of k... k-k-i... _kissi-_...

_Kyoko..._

"I can't!" Tsuna yelped. He was feeling absolutely mortified, and was sure that his face doing a fair imitation of a tomato. "Something like that... No way can I...!"

"You're late, Tsuna."

Both boys yelped. "Reborn!" Tsuna gasped, eyes darting about in search of the hitman. "Where..."

"Back here, dame-students."

They turned to see Reborn perched on the backseat of Dino's jeep, dressed this time as a teacher, complete with spectacles, chalk and pointer. "I expected you back to study for your English test some hours ago, dame-Tsuna. Because I don't want this costume to go to waste, you'll just have to study all through tonight until you collapse from exhaustion. Look forward to it."

Tsuna let out a weak _hiieee_ of despair, but was promptly ignored.

"And you, Dino..." Reborn's pitch eyes sharpened even further. "I suppose I should have dressed as a Cupid for you instead?" he jeered.

Dino blinked cluelessly. "Eh, you knew about these fake dates I've been taking Tsuna on?" He turned to the quietly panicking Tsuna. "Tsuna, did you tell Reborn...?"

Tsuna recovered long enough to shake his head mutely, and then continued with his silent break down in the passenger seat of Dino's car.

"_Fake_ dates, you say... So you haven't figured it out yet," Reborn muttered, and let Leon transform from a gun back to his chameleon form, and rest on the brim of the hitman's fedora. "Well, I suppose if that's all it is it's okay. If other mafia families see that Chevallone and Vongola are on such good terms, it will make both families look good... And only a very poor boss would be unable to woo a lady. Alright," Reborn concluded, "for now, I can permit these fake dates, as long as that's all they are."

"What else could they be?" asked Dino, genuinely confused. He raised his hands in panicked surrender when Leon was once again transformed and pointed at the blonde.

"Never you mind," Reborn threatened. "Just remember my conditions and you won't die. Now hurry up, Tsuna, we have a lot of tortu- _study_, we have a lot of _studying_ to do."

Dino watched on as Tsuna dragged himself out of the car and to the front door, only to be booted the rest of the way by Reborn, who didn't like to be kept waiting. Dino sat there, idling the engine, until the light in Tsuna's room flicked on, and he could see dark shapes moving behind the curtain.

Only then did he pull away and drive off down the street.

* * *

OMAKE

Dino sat in a plush chair back at the Chevallone base, resting his chin on his linked fingers and _not_ doing paperwork. Romario had given him a sorrowful kicked-puppy look, but as much as Dino cared for all of his men, Romario was just too _macho_ for puppy eyes. Besides, Dino thought to himself with a small grin, when he had a choice between doing boring old paperwork and planning his next fake-date with Tsuna, shouldn't his priorities be obvious?

"Where to next?" Dino pondered. An amusement park was an obvious choice, or else they could go see a movie. And there was always that cute cafe in the local park that sold nice cheesecake...

"Dino," said Romario solemnly, making said man start from his thoughts. He looked up, blinking, only to notice for the first time that he was surrounded by all his men, who were standing around him in a sombre ring. Even for mafia men, they were looking uncharacteristically serious. One, a bald, suited man with an inch-thick scar running down the side of his face, was scrunching his hat in an effort not to start bawling.

"Hey, you guys!" Dino laughed sheepishly. "Gomen, gomen, I didn't notice you there... What's with those faces, you look like you're on your way to a funeral or something..."

"We need a word, Boss," said Romario solemnly. The rest of the men nodded. Dino looked from one to the other, confused.

"Okay... Of course... Well, what about?"

"About Vongola's Sawada Tsunayoshi."

"...What about him?"

Bruno, a man with biceps thicker than the width of some people's heads, spoke up gently. "We just wanted to suggest that maybe you stay away from the Sawada residence for a few days. Not for long, we know that Vongola-sama is important to you, but just long enough that you can get Chevallone affairs in order. Sawada-sama has Reborn, he can take care of himself and Vongola affairs for a couple of weeks... We only have you, Dino-sama."

"We only _want_ you!" The man who had been scrunching his hat lost the battle with his tears and began sobbing. "We're important too, ain't we? I's been waitin' _days_ for you to give me my mission!"

"Patrick!" said Dino, flustered, and stood to press a handkerchief into the man's hand. "Of course you're important, of course I haven't forgotten about you guys! You're my most important Family! You're everything to me!"

"We do know that... And we're not saying that Tsuna-sama isn't important too!" Romario spoke up quickly. "I really like the kid... We're just, worried, that you might be getting a little _too_ attached..."

Dino blinked and cocked his head to the side. "Eh?"

"But no matter wha' happens, we'll be here for you, supporting you, all the way!" Patrick bawled. A few other men had gotten teary at the display, and were nodding fervently. "You're our important Dino-sama, and we'll follow ya to the end, no matter any deviant or unholy practises!"

"_What_-"

But Bruno was nodding. "Very moving, Patrick," he said solemnly, then raised his hand in a salute, facing Dino, staunch and sure. "Dino-sama!" he barked, and the rest of the men followed suit, shouting passionately. "Dino-sama!"

"Sorry, Boss," said Romario, and patted the stunned man on the shoulder. "It was just a little something we needed to get off our chests. We trust you implicitly, but you have to understand that this situation has been quite worrying... But well, you are our boss, and you could certainly do worse, so no matter what we're with you all the way."

One more reassuring pat, and the Chevallone men were leaving Dino to his paperwork, satisfied that they'd said their piece.

Dino raised one hand in a weak attempt at keeping them here. "Wait... Guys... _I have no idea what you even_...Guys..."

* * *

A.N. And there's chapter 2 for you! A reminder, NEXT CHAPTER I WILL CHANGE THE STORY'S RATING TO M. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Also, because I just know this is going to come up: Italian and French are very similar languages, but where Italian spelling is phonetic, French spelling rather _isn't_. So it isn't inconceivable that Dino would mess up trying to pronounce French words :P

See you pretties next chapter! xx


	3. The First Kiss!

A/N: Sorry this chapter is a bit late. Probably the next one will be, too. Uni life just sucks sanity, time and motivation into a big, swirling vortex of pain, misery and deadlines *weeps at not having slept properly in days* Even if updates take a while I'll never abandon a story for good though, so no worries on that account!

Now, this chapter contains porn. Nothing that's hard R, but I'd still label it NSFW. It's also the first homosexual porn I've ever written. And it's only gonna get steamier, so some feedback on this first attempt would be appreciated ^^; On a related note, thanks for all the reviews - I read and appreciate them all, so keep 'em comin'! :D

* * *

Sunday dawned, sunny and blue-skied. Children were playing in the streets, birds were whistling in the trees, Reborn was away torturing some other poor sod, and Tsuna was still lazing in bed purely on principle.

The brunette teen stretched luxuriously, basking in the warmth of the early afternoon sun pouring through his open window. Today, he thought drowsily, I will not do anything. I have all day to do my homework. Both Gokudera and Yamamoto are busy. Reborn is somewhere else. Mama has taken the kids grocery shopping. The date with Dino-nii isn't scheduled until late afternoon. _Reborn is somewhere else._

Tsuna rolled onto his stomach and kicked his legs idly behind him. _I wonder where Dino will take me for our next date_? he mused. The last date had been a lot of fun. The last bit had been confusing, and a little scary, but Dino was only trying to help, and when he was going that far for his brother, well, who was Tsuna to complain?

...And it was true, that he had no idea how to kiss.

Tsuna's face exploded into a blush at the thought, and he yanked his pillow from beneath him so that he could smother his burning face in its feathery confines.

He wasn't stupid (well, wasn't _that_ stupid), and he knew, theoretically, how to kiss. And that it was all very simple, in principle. Press lips. Dry and sweet. Tongue. Spit. _Heat_.

He'd heard the stories. Boys bragging in the locker room. Read a few steamy scenes in his mother's books, on those excruciatingly boring days, before the blood rush to his head forced him to put the book away before the _really_ racy bits could send him into an embarrassment-induced coma. He kinda-sorta remembered bits from sex ed. But he had a sneaking suspicion that the whole thing wasn't nearly so simple in practise.

I mean... their teeth were right there, weren't they? What if he accidentally bit Ky-... D-... the person he was kissing, or something equally embarrassing? Spit... What if he dribbled? What if his kissing partner tasted bad? He had no idea what someone else's tongue tasted like - what if _he_ tasted bad?

Good mood effectively ruined, Tsuna sat up and squeezed his pillow close with a pout. All he had been thinking about since yesterday's date was Dino's offer of teaching him how to kiss, and he was, reluctantly, starting to see the benefits of said lesson.

It would be weird.

...But would it be worth it?

Tsuna's grip tightened on his pillow. His face flushed anew, and his eyes darted toward his closed bedroom door.

_Reborn was somewhere else_.

He'd heard somewhere that kissing the back of your own hand was a lot like kissing another person.

Slowly, carefully, his eyes never leaving the door, Tsuna raised his hand to his mouth.

The skin was dry and warm against his lips, and his breath, when it blew back at him, smelled of sleep and faintly of toothpaste. He tentatively parted his lips against the skin, heart pounding, and squeaked when the action made a slight 'pop' sound. When he got back his nerve, a few seconds later, he parted his teeth and touched his skin lightly with the tip of his tongue. And... it didn't taste too bad. Musty, faintly salty. He moved his tongue in a bold stroke across the skin.

Hm.

Tsuna pulled his hand away, his insides tight and tingling, and stared at the wet slick he'd left. Still staring, he idly let his other hand slip into his pyjama bottoms, and began to trace light patterns on the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. His breath hitched, and he wriggled down so that he was flat on his back, knees raised and parted, and he slowly, torturously slowly, moved his fingers in ever tightening circles until they stroked his still sparse public hair. In the same moment that he grasped the root of his growing erection he slipped two fingers into his mouth, smothering his gasp when his cold fingers circled burning hot flesh.

Tsuna was young, so it didn't take much: a few minutes of pleasurable agony, scrunching his toes in the covers, arching off the mattress, slipping a third finger in his mouth and curling the slick appendages under his tongue, and he was coming with a muffled groan. He fell back against the mattress with a muted gasp, panting, and let the three fingers slip from his mouth with a wet sound that made him blush.

...But why was he blushing? If he was going to be doing intimate things with Dino...

...with Kyoko...

...shouldn't he be trying to get over this 'blushing virgin' crap?

Still limp and languid and basking in the afterglow of his recent release, he brought his saliva-coated fingers back to his mouth and curled his tongue around the tip of one, humming at the taste. In his mouth his spit had no discernable taste, but the saliva had cooled, and tasted... odd, now. Not bad, but... not like himself.

Is this what Dino... what Kyoko... would taste like in his mouth?

He moved his gaze to the warm white mess on his hand. Kyoko wouldn't have this, and he wondered idly what would come out of her, and what it would taste like, what she would smell like down there. He only had a very basic idea what a female's 'thing' looked like, with the closest he'd ever come to seeing one being the cross-section diagrams in textbooks and the crude graffiti on toilet walls. He supposed that was the only reason that he was even considering letting Dino _do things_ to him - this experience was all about baby steps, and he was far more comfortable starting out with parts he knew...

Almost before he knew it Tsuna had raised his _other hand_ toward his face, the one streaked with white, and only realised what the hell he was doing when he darted out his tongue and...

Tsuna shrieked and clamped his tongue back behind his teeth, absolutely mortified. He snatched a handful of tissues from atop his dresser and scrubbed furiously at his hands, feeling ill at the thought of what he had almost done when he'd gotten carried away with his thoughts.

If this is what happens when I'm left to my own devices, Tsuna thought desperately, his face so flushed it hurt, I'll never complain about Reborn smothering me ever again!

* * *

The shadows had begun to lengthen, and Tsuna was still curled in the foetal position, absolutely appalled with himself, when Dino cooeed from downstairs to let the younger know that he was here for their date. Tsuna was no longer in the mood to face the cheerful blonde but he couldn't very well leave Dino hanging when he was already being such a bother with his dating insecurities, and so he willed his blush away and made his way downstairs.

Dino snorted when the brunette came into view. "I refuse to be seen with you if you're going out in that!" Dino teased. Tsuna looked down and squeaked when he realised that he had never changed out of his rumpled flannel pyjamas.

"H-Hold on! Just a minute I-I-I'll just cha-" He slipped, face planted onto the stairs, and scrambled to his feet immediately to trip the rest of the way up to his room. An impressive shiner later, and Tsuna was hit with the glum realisation that today's outing was going to be another one of 'those' ones: ruined before it even really began.

Tsuna came back down the stairs smoothing his fringe down over the mark on his forehead with a practised motion, while Dino looked after him with some concern. Tsuna plastered a smile on his face.

"Where are we off to now, Dino-nii?"

Dino returned the smile after a beat of hesitation. "Well, I had a few ideas... How about we go to a festival?"

"Eh?" Tsuna brightened. "There's a festival going on in Namimori?"

"Not quite in Namimori," Dino admitted. "About a forty minute drive. If we leave now we'll get there at six, which gives us a good four hours to wander around. We'll need at least that long, too – I read about it in the paper, it's meant to be an amazing set-up, rides and everything..."

"A festival!" Tsuna gushed, eyes sparkling. "I haven't been to one of them in ages! This'll be awesome!"

Dino laughed at Tsuna's enthusiasm. "Well, the sooner we leave, the sooner we get there. Let's go!"

The two piled into Dino's jeep. Tsuna, feeling increasingly antsy as the minutes clocked past, was reduced to jiggling his leg impatiently by the time the pair spotted the Ferris wheel breaking the horizon. He was almost bouncing in his seat when at last they were close enough to see the milling crowds, smell cooking meat and sweetly pungent spices, and hear the mechanical motions of the rides.

A whole street had been sectioned off for this fair, with stalls selling food, fortunes, plush toys and games set up in a long ribbon of alternating colours all the way along the curb. Like Dino had said there were a few temporary rides set up, and Tsuna watched in a kind of terrified awe as one of the larger, scarier looking rides - appropriately named the 'Stomach Bender' - spun in wide circles on an axis then hung upside down for a few gut-wrenching moments, before plummeting back to earth. Dino was looking vaguely interested, so Tsuna hastened to pull the blonde away to a stall selling flavoured buckwheat noodles.

"Any rides you wanna go on, Tsuna?" Dino asked, wiping flecks of brown sauce from his mouth with a napkin. The two had moved to a grassy flat to eat, squeezing between other picnicking couples to watch the bright lights of the festival as the sun went down. The place would get especially lively after sundown, so Dino was eager to get some rides in before the queues became ridiculously long.

Tsuna nodded shyly, lapping a splash of sauce from his wrist before wrapping his paper bowl, wooden chopsticks and napkin into a bundle to be thrown away when they next passed a bin. "The Ferris Wheel?" he said hopefully.

Dino chuckled. "I should've guessed you'd say that," he teased. "Good choice, though. Very romantic."

Tsuna pinked and mumbled something under his breath about just liking the view, which Dino laughed at. "C'mon," the older man grinned, extending his hand to the brunette and helping him to his feet. "By the time we get on the sun will be setting, and we'll have a great view of the sky. So, let's go!"

Dino was right. Even as the blonde was buying their tickets off of a teenage girl who was wearing a ridiculous jester hat with her uniform and who had a look in her eyes that just _dared_ Dino to comment, Tsuna was looking in silent appreciation at the gold-hued clouds.

"It'll be even better from up there," said Dino quietly, and Tsuna allowed the blonde to guide him into the carriage. They were both quiet, Tsuna resting his cheek and the fingertips of one hand against the glass, just staring out as the ride attendant halted the queue and left to work a few unseen levers and start the ride. Dino sat on the opposite side of the cramped carriage and watched Tsuna discreetly, feeling quietly impressed when Tsuna didn't so much as flinch when the ride shuddered to a start with a muted, mechanical groan. Dino could remember a time not so long ago when such a thing would have sent Tsuna into hysterics. It didn't always show, but Tsuna had done a lot of growing up, these past few months.

"Dino," Tsuna murmured. "Look outside. It's beautiful."

"Yes," the older man agreed. "The sky is always beautiful, I think, but it is especially so now, when it's showing its fire."

Tsuna admitted to himself that he, too, had first thought of HDW flames when he saw the frozen banks of orange cloud. "Is that what I look like? When I'm in Hyper Dying Will mode?"

Dino studied the pink streaks in the orange, and the long, yellow bands of light. He then turned the same evaluating expression onto Tsuna, who blushed lightly, but kept the eye contact. "Your eyes turn a similar colour," said Dino at last. He didn't break from Tsuna's gaze. The sunset had turned his own irises a strange, dark amber. "They go more liquid, though. And more yellow, maybe. It's... beautiful to watch, when it happens."

"Really?" said Tsuna quietly. His eyes, deep and brown and closed to half-mast, turned back to the outside scenery as the ride completed a circle and groaned back into the air. "I guess I've always wondered. I've never seen myself... like that."

"Is everything okay, Tsuna?" said Dino gently. "You've been acting a little..."

"Y-Y-Yes!" Tsuna spluttered, and Dino remembered with a rueful smile that though Tsuna was growing up, he hadn't quite yet _grown up_. "I-I-It's just, I was thinking... Flames, and compatibility, and D-Dino, you're the same, y-you're a sky, a-a-and, _parts_..."

"Breathe," Dino interrupted, and Tsuna paused obligingly to gulp a mouthful of air. "Good. Now, one more time."

"W-Well... I have been thinking all today about what you said the other day," said Tsuna shyly, his blush crawling from his neck to splash colour across the bridge of his nose. "About... helping me, learn how to kiss."

Dino tensed. "When did I-"

"I'd like your help," Tsuna blurted, and Dino stopped talking so abruptly that his mouth hung open, mid-syllable. He snapped his jaw closed and blushed. There was a sudden, awkward silence.

"You want... my help? Kissing?"

"I-If you don't mind..."

"I don't, I suppose... But, what, like... Now?"

"Um... Yeah?"

"Oh." There were a few beats of horrible, awkward silence. Neither could look the other in the face. Both felt blushes burning their cheeks. The faces of the waiting queue loomed close, then drifted away as the wheel spun on. "O...Okay then."

"R-"

Dino leaned in too quick, Tsuna wasn't ready, and their teeth clacked together painfully. Both drew back quickly, smarting - Tsuna mortified that his inexperience meant that he had screwed up already, and Dino even more embarrassed because he had no excuse. He opened his mouth to try explain himself, or apologise, but the whole situation was so awkward already that he decided, _hell with it_, and leant forward again to take the younger boy's lips.

* * *

It was awkward, Tsuna thought, and a little revolting, kissing his older brother figure. Their lips were pressed lightly, chastely; Dino's breath was warm, and this close Tsuna could see the black rings around Dino's dark irises. Then the older man's eyes fluttered closed, his head _turned_, and their mouths were fitting together much more comfortably, and their noses were no longer pressed quite so crushingly close. Tsuna filed that away as a mental note.

Dino drew away and opened his eyes. "You're too far away," he muttered, hoarsely. "I can't kiss you properly from there."

Tsuna was dazed from the tingling pleasure he could still feel from the light pressure of the other's mouth. "Too far...?"

"Come here." Dino leaned across and hoisted the younger boy across the carriage, making Tsuna squeak when the contraption rocked with the movement. Then Dino had deposited him in his lap, had his long fingers in Tsuna's hair, was leaning forward, and when Tsuna opened his mouth to protest, Dino stuck his tongue in there.

And _this_ was the kiss that Tsuna had read about, heard about in the locker rooms. Dino tasted odd, like spit but also faintly like coffee and the noodles they'd eaten before, and Tsuna just had time to wonder hazily if he himself tasted good to Dino before Dino _twisted_ his tongue around Tsuna's, and Tsuna was effectively reduced to a mewling, quivering mess. There was spit, a lot of spit, Tsuna could feel a trail of it cooling on his chin, but he couldn't bring himself to care when Dino was pressing _up_ and grinding Tsuna _down_, and they were panting in each other's mouths, and Tsuna was so out of breath that Dino had to move to plant wet, open-mouthed kisses on the long column of his neck and to suckle his jaw, or risk the younger suffocating.

"D-Dino... Wai- Sto- _Dino_..."

Tsuna pressed his palms flat against Dino's chest, pushing ineffectually. He was feeling completely, terrifyingly overwhelmed by the wet pressure that was Dino nipping at his chin. He mewled helplessly when Dino claimed his lips once again.

"_Dino, stop, enough..._"

Dino pulled back, panting lightly. His eyes were feverishly bright, his mouth red and wet. "The ride," Dino breathed. Tsuna just gaped at him, uncomprehending, his limbs trembling. "The ride... has stopped. We should... get off now..."

"...Yeah. Right, yeah."

Tsuna's mouth was tingling uncomfortably. He slowly clamoured off Dino's lap, unable to look the blonde in the eye. Neither said a word as they exited the carriage and walked past the ride attendant, who kept shooting them uncomfortable looks. The girl in the jester hat actually smiled and gave them a thumbs up, the former of which both boys returned weakly. _Oh my… how embarrassing…_ Dino waited until they had walked a fair distance from the leering girl before clearing his throat.

"...I'm sorry, Tsuna. Would... Would you prefer if we went home now...?"

"No, no," Tsuna hastened to reassure the crestfallen blonde. "It, it was my fault, I shouldn't have asked you to do something so weird..."

_So he thought it was weird_… "It's not your fault. Let's just go to the next ride, yeah?"

Tsuna must have seen something in Dino's expression, because he squeaked and waved his hands before him frantically. "N-Not that it was s-strange or anything! W-Well, yes it was, but…" Dame-dame-dame-Tsuna! He hastened to clarify, stumbling on his words. "But… I did ask you to, a-a-and it was my first kiss, and, it did… it felt good… _really, really good_… So, d-don't feel bad. Dino…"

Dino gave the boy a weak little smile.

"A-And… It's true, I need the practice."

"…Will you keep needing practice?"

Tsuna looked blank for a couple of long seconds, before his eyes turned dark and evaluating, a ring of orange shimmering around the dark of his pupil. "Yeah," he said quietly. The noises of the festival had fallen away and it was just the two of them looking at each other. "It isn't something I can learn alone, I think. And I can't imagine doing this with anyone else. I-I've been asking a lot of you. But, even so, can I continue to rely on you for this?"

Tsuna couldn't help but notice that Dino's teasing grin was a little shaky. "Practice makes perfect!" Dino joked, and Tsuna's face exploded into a sudden blush. Dino laughed, looking happier now than he had been. "Call me any time, Tsuna. I'll come. _Any_ time. I mean it." He intertwined his fingers with Tsuna's like he was making a point. "Okay?"

Tsuna glanced shyly away.

"…Hai."

* * *

OMAKE

(A.N. Okay no actual omake this time, but rather, just for fun, here is what I originally wrote for the "in the Ferris Wheel" scene before realising _whoa whoa whoa, I know this thing isn't going to go for that many chapters but this is just their first kiss, wtf are you doing getting them naked already_?! So here's how it would have gone down if they were both, I dunno, really really drunk :3)

Tsuna pressed his palms flat against Dino's chest, pushing ineffectually. He was feeling completely, terrifyingly overwhelmed by the wet pressure that was Dino nipping at his chin. He mewled helplessly when Dino claimed his lips once again.

One of Dino's hands was unbuttoning Tsuna's shirt and pulling it aside so that Dino could mouth Tsuna's protruding collar bone, while the other hand was firmly attached to Tsuna's hip, moving the boy's pelvis in steady beats to press against the older man's stomach.

"This isn't about kissing," Dino panted, growled, into Tsuna's ear, and he sounded pathetically desperate, even to himself, so he ground up harder into the boy's arse until Tsuna threw his head back with a breathy moan. "You want to know how to pleasure someone. Kissing is just the beginning. There's so much more..."

"_No_," Tsuna breathed, but he was bouncing himself against Dino's lap now, helpless against these new sensations, and it left Dino's hands free to untuck Tsuna's shirt and slip his hands inside to flick the small pink nubs they found. Tsuna gave a high, breathy cry that had Dino hardening impossibly further, so he moved his hands between them to undo the zip of his jeans and release his large, seeping member from its confines. Tsuna moaned another protest, but then Dino was pulling out the other's smaller erection and fisting them together, making Tsuna ride his lap faster, harder, his cries getting shriller, until he was coming with a wail and sending ropes of white come to splatter his bared stomach. The sight was enough to set Dino off, and he followed with a low moan and a whispered 'Tsuna', and he was leaving his own white stain on the boy's chest.

Tsuna fell off the other man's lap with a gasp, falling onto the opposite bench.

* * *

A/N: *squints eyes* *opens mouth to speak* *closes mouth* *shuffles away off screen*


	4. The Unlikely Couple!

A/N: So, here the next chapter is, at last - late, and the shortest so far. *swirly-eyed* Sorry about that. University at this time of year sucks hard, and any free time I have I've been spending with my new boyfriend *happy sparkle* While I'm very happy with this development it does make writing hard. We've only been going out a couple of weeks, which is definitely not long enough a time that I'm comfortable writing slash fiction in front of him, haha! So apologies for the lateness!

* * *

"TENTH!"

The windows of the house across the street rattled in their frames.

Tsuna, blinking, looked up from where he was slipping on his sneakers to give a fond, exasperated smile to the silverette standing wide-eyed and panting in his doorway. "Good morning, Gokudera-kun."

Gokudera just gaped at the brunette, before another "TENTH!" exploded from him. "I apologise sincerely for neglecting to protect you yesterday! As your right-hand man, my actions were inexcusable!"

Tsuna just blinked and hoisted his school bag over his shoulder. "It's fine, really, Gokudera-kun. You already explained to me, remember? That you needed to do some chores?"

"Still! That's no excuse fo-"

"I was fine, really! I was home all day, and then in the evening I went to a festival with Dino, so I was well protected. Now, let's go! Or we'll be late for school…"

Gokudera calmed down after hearing that Tsuna had still had mafia protection, though it didn't lessen his distress at the fact that it hadn't been _Gokudera_ providing said protection. But Tsuna was right, if they stayed talking any longer they really would be late, so Gokudera decided to just make it up to Tsuna in his own time and to settle for protecting the boy's grades for now. Like any good right-hand man would! But in the meantime...

"That Bucking Horse was over at your house again, Tenth?" Gokudera questioned, jogging easily alongside the brunette. Tsuna glanced over and nodded, panting.

"Y-Yeah... He took me out to a carnival that was going on in the Aoyagi prefecture..."

Gokudera bristled. "'Took you out'? Tenth, if that bastard is taking advantage of you...!"

Tsuna squeaked and tripped over his own feet, landing in a heap on the sidewalk. Gokudera paused his running with a cry of alarm. "Tenth!"

"_No_! Dino-nii... We aren't dating or anything! So it's not like he's taking advantage of me!" _If anything, I'm taking advantage of him_!

Gokudera blushed and hurried to help Tsuna to his feet, absentmindedly patting the brunette off. "Of course, Tenth. Forgive my arrogant assumption."

Tsuna batted Gokudera's hands away. "N-No, it's fine... Just, why did you think that? That we might… have that kind of relationship?"

Gokudera's hands hung in space for a minute, as if he wasn't sure what to do with them now that they weren't touching Tsuna. He settled for scratching his head uncomfortably. "It's stupid, really. I mean, you have Kyoko already so I shouldn't have thought... It was nothing. Just a random thought, I guess."

Tsuna was feeling impossibly guilty, without quite knowing why. "C'mon, let's go. Or we really will be late."

"...Yeah."

* * *

The remainder of the walk to school was completed in silence. Both boys were relieved when they finally entered the classroom and found Yamamoto and Kyoko. The pair were chatting pleasantly at the front of the class, making the most of the few minutes left before the bell rang and class officially began. Seeing a chance to redeem himself after his inexcusable actions prior, Gokudera promptly launched himself at Yamamoto and began to scream at him for not bowing and attending to the Tenth the moment he came in the door.

"Haha, sorry 'Dera, didn't see you two come in!"

"And you call yourself a servant of the great Tenth! What if an assassin was in the classroom?! You are unworthy of being the Right Hand of the Tenth, or even the Little Toe of the Tenth!"

"Haha, I thought that last time we decided that I was the Elbow and you were the Belly Button?"

"_You decided_, you baseball-idiot, and those classifications make no sense, anyway…"

Tsuna quite happily ignored the ruckus and smiled at Kyoko. "Good morning, Kyoko-chan. Beautiful weather we're having, isn't it?"

"Yes, I was just telling Yamamoto-san that it's wonderful weather for a picnic! You and the kids should join us after school, we'll make a packed lunch and all eat together at the park."

Tsuna smiled. "That sounds great! Ah," he suddenly bit his thumb as a thought occurred to him, "but I can't today, I have a date- Oh."

Kyoko started. Gokudera stopped screaming at Yamamoto so suddenly that his mouth hung open mid-howl, and looked incredulously at Tsuna. Even Yamamoto looked shocked.

"_Date_?!"

"With _who_?!"

"But, I thought… Kyoko…"

"Class, time to take your seats! The lesson is beginning!" their teacher called out.

Gokudera screamed for sensei to _shut the fuck up, this is _important!, and turned back to Tsuna, still bug-eyed, as behind the four friends their sensei started spluttering.

They were all leaning in, wide-eyed and expectant. A helpless panic that he didn't entirely understand made Tsuna shrink and back away; the pressure of his friends looming over him was too much. He'd spoken unthinkingly, but what to say now? _He_ didn't even properly know what was going on with Dino, didn't know how to _explain_ himself, and God Kyoko was just _standing_ there, watching him, curious, a little anxious. He opened his mouth to say something, he didn't know what, but his voice stuttered in his throat. Kyoko was looking at him, and God, he wanted to _die_. He became aware that over the sound of blood in his ears words were leaping from his lips of their own accord, and the whole class quieted and stared and Kyoko's jaw dropped.

Tsuna slowly became aware that something momentous had just occurred, and let the last few moments rewind and replay themselves in his mind's eye.

_Kyoko-chan, would you go out on a date with me_?

Even their sensei was staring at Tsuna, flabbergasted.

_Ah. Oh, my._

_…What have I done_?

Tsuna was concerned, in a vague, concussed way, that his brain might be trickling out of his ears. Was this what a mental breakdown felt like? Funny, he'd always thought that when he eventually snapped (and that was a definite _when_, not _if_) there would be more yelling and general hysteria on his part.

And then, finally, breaking through that oppressive silence like a beam of sunshine through cloud –

"Okay."

Tsuna turned to face the calmly smiling Kyoko and said, "Mrurgh?"

She clasped her hands in front of her chest and crinkled her eyes in a happy smile. "Okay. We'll postpone the picnic, and I'll go on a date with you. Did you want to walk home with me after class?"

A few more beats of horrible silence, then the entire class roared as one:

"_WHAT_?!"

* * *

OMAKE

Hibari, the staunch protector and rule enforcer of the Namimori district, yawned delicately into his hand, completely ignoring the fluffy yellow bird that was making itself comfortable in his mop of dark hair, quietly trilling the Namimori anthem to itself.

Hibari had had a long, long day, consisting of biting delinquents _to death_, bullying the Namimori Middle principal into providing the funds needed to repaint a wall that had been dessecrated by some _punks_ he had _bitten to death_, getting refused by the principal and so _biting him to death_, finding a small group of crowding herbivores who were skipping class and _biting them to death_, recieving the funds from the _bitten to death_ principal, and, finally, getting a few of the Disciplinary Committee members to paint over the graffitied wall or risk being _bitten to death_.

Suffice to say, Hibari needed a _nap._

He had just stretched out onto the sun-warmed concrete when the door to the roof clicked and grated open, making the teen's ears twitch. He lay quiet, twitching in irritation as there came a soft scuffing of shoes, and then there was shadow standing over him, blocking out the sun, and an obnoxiously happy "Kyo-kun~" sounded - And Hibari knew, then, that today would be the day that the Bucking Horse was _bitten _to_ death_.

Hibari lashed out with his foot, feeling grimly satisfied when the appendage connected successfully with Dino's stomach and sent the man flying. Hibari stood up so as to loom over the toppled blonde, narrow, slate coloured eyes spelling death.

"Bucking Horse..." In a practised movement, the teen extracted a pair of tonfa from his jacket and twirled them as he eyed down his prey. "For interuppting my nap, and trespassing on school grounds during school hours when you are _clearly_ not a student... Prepare to be bitten to death."

"But Kyo-kun," Dino whined, getting to his feet with a small wince of pain. "I'm not here to fight, I need advice! And I thought, who better to ask than my own adorable stud- _Oof_."

Dino was once again sent sprawling on his back, now nursing a bloody nose.

Hibari flicked any stray blood droplets from his tonfas with one deliberate, downward swipe. "Not. Interested."

"Ow," Dino mumbled, and reluctantly fished his whip from beneath his jacket. "You didn't hab to go dat far," he said reproachfully, and parried Hibari's next blow (Romario gave the blonde a thumbs up from where he stood a discrete distance away, in the doorway). One smooth crack of his whip caught Hibari in the arm, making the teen grimace and settle into a defensive stance. "I'm just wondering," said Dino thoughtfully, his whip sending the tonfa in Hibari's left hand flying. The teen just pulled another from behind his back and ducked to avoid Dino's next attack. "...because there's _this person_, and I'm not really sure what our... I guess, what is our relationship. I mean, we've always been good friends, like siblings, but recently... Well, what does it mean if I think about them all the time, and I get happy when they're happy, and I ask them out and kiss them without knowing why..."

Hibari's expression shifted slightly in such a way as to show, in Hibari-speak, that he was repulsed beyond imagining. "Herbivore, I will not tell you again. Cease your obscene, love-sick drivelling, and _get out of my sight before I break every bone in your body_."

Even before Hibari had finished speaking, Dino started so badly that he almost dropped his whip. He tried to speak, couldn't, and so settled for just gaping moon-eyed at the boy. After a few seconds of standing stunned he swallowed painfully and croaked: "Did you just say... _lo-_"

Even with Romario standing vigilant nearby Dino was entirely unable to block Hibari's final attack, and was sent soaring off the roof to land in the canopy of a nearby tree, breaking branches and scraping himself badly as he descended until he lay, coughing and bleeding and dazed, on the grass below. Vaguely, he heard Hibari call down that _For damaging vegetation on school property, I'll bite you to death_. But Dino paid it no mind.

He lay perfectly still, staring up through the leaves of the tree, his mind racing and his pulse thrumming, until Romario came running with a first aid kit. Only then did he sit up.

And smile.

* * *

A/N: SQUEEEE! Hibari cameo! And Dino has realised what he feels for Tsuna! AND MEANWHILE TSUNA AND KYOKO ARE OFFICIAL!...I should stop watching daytime TV, it does things to my brain. The next chapter probably won't be out for a while, but it will come eventually, so I'll see you all again then! Adios, amigos!


End file.
